what a fucking day
Aug. 26th, 2008 09:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bonstrosityI've applied to work at a bank, because I fucking hate my job right now. It's stressful, and two others have already gone on to other jobs because they hated it so much.
And just now. Oh my god. Another episode of the FUCKING AIR CONDITIONING WARS. I asked grandma why she hated me, and I, FOR ONCE, had LOGIC ready to go, and explained reasons of keeping the fucking air conditioner on. And she explained if I had an AC in my room (and only my room), the ELECTRICITY BILL WOULD NOT GO UP. Because for some unknown reason, running MORE ELECTRICITY would not work like that.
What. The. FUCK.
And so yes, I asked her if she understood. And she said 'Yes' in that haughty 'I understand nothing but what I am thinking and what I am thinking is right, so fucking suck it'. And I told her she doesn't care. And why didn't she just care about me. Because that's the fucking issue. She thinks I'm just a spoiled brat of a kid who doesn't... I just should always be ashamed of myself for apparently trying REALLY FUCKING HARD the last FUCKING YEAR. And that I should regret basically being born, because I've done nothing but be a leech (Do not get me fucking started on how fucking leech-like my uncle has been in his life. I love him, but he's begged/STOLEN more from her than I even fucking know. Fuck that.) and that because I quit school and that I fucking shut down after my dad died, and I HAVE NO FUCKING CHILDREN, I'm not as good as I can be. And I"m a failure.
FUck you, Granmda. I fucking hate you. I hate you so much. And god dammit, why the fuck don't you care about me and why does the sound of my voice bother you and you turn up the tv, and yet get pissed if I am talking on the phone and won't listen to you.
I'm broken. Fucking broken. Work has been.. machines replaced us. And now I'm working the machines more and I'm just so sore and exhausted and stressed, because the acting manager is such a dickhead, even though he is better now and then, and he made my mom cry by being a confusing asshole, and I fucking hate it there. I will not tolerate being someone's faceless pawn, and someone who isn't worth anything. I've had enough of that here, with grandma.
And fuck you further, universe, for making us shell out another 200 fucking dollars on the fucking ignition on the fucking car on Friday.
God. I hope my interview goes well tomorrow. This week is fucking abysmal.
And just now. Oh my god. Another episode of the FUCKING AIR CONDITIONING WARS. I asked grandma why she hated me, and I, FOR ONCE, had LOGIC ready to go, and explained reasons of keeping the fucking air conditioner on. And she explained if I had an AC in my room (and only my room), the ELECTRICITY BILL WOULD NOT GO UP. Because for some unknown reason, running MORE ELECTRICITY would not work like that.
What. The. FUCK.
And so yes, I asked her if she understood. And she said 'Yes' in that haughty 'I understand nothing but what I am thinking and what I am thinking is right, so fucking suck it'. And I told her she doesn't care. And why didn't she just care about me. Because that's the fucking issue. She thinks I'm just a spoiled brat of a kid who doesn't... I just should always be ashamed of myself for apparently trying REALLY FUCKING HARD the last FUCKING YEAR. And that I should regret basically being born, because I've done nothing but be a leech (Do not get me fucking started on how fucking leech-like my uncle has been in his life. I love him, but he's begged/STOLEN more from her than I even fucking know. Fuck that.) and that because I quit school and that I fucking shut down after my dad died, and I HAVE NO FUCKING CHILDREN, I'm not as good as I can be. And I"m a failure.
FUck you, Granmda. I fucking hate you. I hate you so much. And god dammit, why the fuck don't you care about me and why does the sound of my voice bother you and you turn up the tv, and yet get pissed if I am talking on the phone and won't listen to you.
I'm broken. Fucking broken. Work has been.. machines replaced us. And now I'm working the machines more and I'm just so sore and exhausted and stressed, because the acting manager is such a dickhead, even though he is better now and then, and he made my mom cry by being a confusing asshole, and I fucking hate it there. I will not tolerate being someone's faceless pawn, and someone who isn't worth anything. I've had enough of that here, with grandma.
And fuck you further, universe, for making us shell out another 200 fucking dollars on the fucking ignition on the fucking car on Friday.
God. I hope my interview goes well tomorrow. This week is fucking abysmal.
