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eliza dushku is yummy.
Apr. 2nd, 2002 05:05 am
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peacefulchaos !
Apr. 2nd, 2002
You hate Fred Durst. You hate everything about him. Well, No. I have not seen this movie, but that was on the preview. I approve of that Ryan guy, so maybe I will see it when it comes out on video, but there is no way I'm going to pay to see it haha.
Well, I don't know how I honestly wonder about my thoughts two years ago. Two years ago, at the Diallo Rally in front of Neilson, I heard them announce Professor Ferguson's name and her department, and all this cheering started. I wondered "Why would anyone major in African American Studies? What is the point?" That was only two years ago. Second semester of my first year at Smith. During the summer I decided to read Push by Sapphire, because the author was suggested from a book of coming out stories by women that I had read, when I realized I was gay. After reading Push, somehow, I don't remember how, I found Alice Walker. From there I found many others, and I found my major. I realized that things were way more complicated than I knew and that I needed to know more about them in order to be able to truly think of the world around me. I took Intro to Black Culture, African American Literature from 1776 to 1900, The American Teacher, and Propaganda, Communication, and Compulsion in Early Modern Europe. These classes broadened my worldview. I got to read literature I was not exposed to throughout elementary, junior high, and high school years. I had heard of Langston Hughes, but only because of a couple of poems. I had heard of Alice Walker, though only because the Color Purple was a movie starring Whoopi Goldberg, whom I loved from Jumping Jack Flash. I had heard something of the Harlem Renaissance, but did not understand what it was. I got to know the movement of Pan Africanism. I got to know W.E.B. du Bois (pronounced boys, how do I know that? I watched C-span and his step-son pronounced it that way) at last, because Booker T. Washington (read Up From Slavery, it's great) is who the South, which Oklahoma is heavily influenced by, if not apart of, Booker T. is the one who is talked about here, not the radical, quite often sexist, self-imposed exiler, W.E.B. du Bois. I really got to see how ghettos were built, in this country. I saw that breakdancing, a popular form of dance at the raver clubs I used to go to, originated in the South Bronx. I got to know what rap is, and how utterly beautiful and powerful it can be (Listen to Outkast, Wyclef Jean). I got to know Octavia Butler, science fiction's premier black author currently. And before her was Samuel R. Delany. I got to know the complicated world we live in. Watch Training Day, and really think about what you are seeing.
I've just realize how far I've come to understand a little bit of what there is such a vast amount of. And in the environment here, and a lot of the country, you will never see what A Raisin in the Sun means. Or how Malcolm X changed in the last years of his life. Or how dangerous and hard it was for people to be sharecroppers.
Some of this can be witnessed by the poor. My grandma often tells of her days picking cotton for 10-15 hours a day during the Dust Bowl (did you know the Dust Bowl could've been prevented if they had dug a little deeper? Oklahoma sits on one of the largest underground lakes in the world), and how during that time of integration, they shouldn't have sent poor black kids, because it gave them no chance. People of different classes shouldn't mix, because it's the poorer class who gets all of the punishment. That's why she told my mom I shouldn't go to Smith. All those rich kids would look down on me. I'm sure some women at Smith do that, but I never met them. I found a very embracing environment there, for all kinds of people (except of course if you're close-minded, as we all know, they, I guess, are the ones looked down on. But that's another rant.). Grandma is the reason why, when in class this year, the professor asked what was more important to you, race, class, or gender? I said I was torn between race and class. Because class is the big categorizer. But, knowing what I know of the minority situations, my own included (I am an American Indian. And I was not brought up into it at all. I don't know my language. I only get to go to a family reunion once a year, and they all praise Jesus, and that to me feels like a betrayal...moving on), race plays such a large part of this country's and mine's perceptions. I know that race also contributes to class, but class can also contribute to race, so I do not know.
Gender also plays a role, but sort of, right now, on the forefront. The others are what's behind so much of our psyches.
This whole rant started because of someone's comment that her music teacher was gay. And I said "How do you know?"
Response: "Well, he's black. And he acts very white, very white."
I said "That makes him gay?"
Response: "Well, that's just what other people say. Either way, he's crazy."
Me: "Oh..."
And she quickly changes the subject.
This person is a family member and I am not out to her, and, whenever that is, you take the chance of being completely offended, and unable to say things. It sucks. But for now, there is no choice. I am not independent, old, or strong enough to have it otherwise.
The other fact, the fact that the black man who acts white is obviously crazy? What do you say to that? How do explain all the complexities to a 14 year old? It's also something that you can't really come to from a single conversation over the phone. I, at this point, think the only thing is that I can sort of skirt around it sometimes, and hope she finds the information that will change it for her. That's how it happened for me. I don't know.
Also, the fact that to call someone gay for that...that's so wrong. But I know that even I may have thought that at one point. In our environments...whatever is accepted as truth, is often not questioned, and if it is, then we are attacked. Or if one person is trying to explain during the attack, we don't relent. I know I am definitely guilty of this, but I do try to listen more. You can't change everybody, but you can provide a little light for anyone for just a moment, and that moment is maybe all the good that comes from the entire situation.
I'm out of things to say right now.
Well, I don't know how I honestly wonder about my thoughts two years ago. Two years ago, at the Diallo Rally in front of Neilson, I heard them announce Professor Ferguson's name and her department, and all this cheering started. I wondered "Why would anyone major in African American Studies? What is the point?" That was only two years ago. Second semester of my first year at Smith. During the summer I decided to read Push by Sapphire, because the author was suggested from a book of coming out stories by women that I had read, when I realized I was gay. After reading Push, somehow, I don't remember how, I found Alice Walker. From there I found many others, and I found my major. I realized that things were way more complicated than I knew and that I needed to know more about them in order to be able to truly think of the world around me. I took Intro to Black Culture, African American Literature from 1776 to 1900, The American Teacher, and Propaganda, Communication, and Compulsion in Early Modern Europe. These classes broadened my worldview. I got to read literature I was not exposed to throughout elementary, junior high, and high school years. I had heard of Langston Hughes, but only because of a couple of poems. I had heard of Alice Walker, though only because the Color Purple was a movie starring Whoopi Goldberg, whom I loved from Jumping Jack Flash. I had heard something of the Harlem Renaissance, but did not understand what it was. I got to know the movement of Pan Africanism. I got to know W.E.B. du Bois (pronounced boys, how do I know that? I watched C-span and his step-son pronounced it that way) at last, because Booker T. Washington (read Up From Slavery, it's great) is who the South, which Oklahoma is heavily influenced by, if not apart of, Booker T. is the one who is talked about here, not the radical, quite often sexist, self-imposed exiler, W.E.B. du Bois. I really got to see how ghettos were built, in this country. I saw that breakdancing, a popular form of dance at the raver clubs I used to go to, originated in the South Bronx. I got to know what rap is, and how utterly beautiful and powerful it can be (Listen to Outkast, Wyclef Jean). I got to know Octavia Butler, science fiction's premier black author currently. And before her was Samuel R. Delany. I got to know the complicated world we live in. Watch Training Day, and really think about what you are seeing.
I've just realize how far I've come to understand a little bit of what there is such a vast amount of. And in the environment here, and a lot of the country, you will never see what A Raisin in the Sun means. Or how Malcolm X changed in the last years of his life. Or how dangerous and hard it was for people to be sharecroppers.
Some of this can be witnessed by the poor. My grandma often tells of her days picking cotton for 10-15 hours a day during the Dust Bowl (did you know the Dust Bowl could've been prevented if they had dug a little deeper? Oklahoma sits on one of the largest underground lakes in the world), and how during that time of integration, they shouldn't have sent poor black kids, because it gave them no chance. People of different classes shouldn't mix, because it's the poorer class who gets all of the punishment. That's why she told my mom I shouldn't go to Smith. All those rich kids would look down on me. I'm sure some women at Smith do that, but I never met them. I found a very embracing environment there, for all kinds of people (except of course if you're close-minded, as we all know, they, I guess, are the ones looked down on. But that's another rant.). Grandma is the reason why, when in class this year, the professor asked what was more important to you, race, class, or gender? I said I was torn between race and class. Because class is the big categorizer. But, knowing what I know of the minority situations, my own included (I am an American Indian. And I was not brought up into it at all. I don't know my language. I only get to go to a family reunion once a year, and they all praise Jesus, and that to me feels like a betrayal...moving on), race plays such a large part of this country's and mine's perceptions. I know that race also contributes to class, but class can also contribute to race, so I do not know.
Gender also plays a role, but sort of, right now, on the forefront. The others are what's behind so much of our psyches.
This whole rant started because of someone's comment that her music teacher was gay. And I said "How do you know?"
Response: "Well, he's black. And he acts very white, very white."
I said "That makes him gay?"
Response: "Well, that's just what other people say. Either way, he's crazy."
Me: "Oh..."
And she quickly changes the subject.
This person is a family member and I am not out to her, and, whenever that is, you take the chance of being completely offended, and unable to say things. It sucks. But for now, there is no choice. I am not independent, old, or strong enough to have it otherwise.
The other fact, the fact that the black man who acts white is obviously crazy? What do you say to that? How do explain all the complexities to a 14 year old? It's also something that you can't really come to from a single conversation over the phone. I, at this point, think the only thing is that I can sort of skirt around it sometimes, and hope she finds the information that will change it for her. That's how it happened for me. I don't know.
Also, the fact that to call someone gay for that...that's so wrong. But I know that even I may have thought that at one point. In our environments...whatever is accepted as truth, is often not questioned, and if it is, then we are attacked. Or if one person is trying to explain during the attack, we don't relent. I know I am definitely guilty of this, but I do try to listen more. You can't change everybody, but you can provide a little light for anyone for just a moment, and that moment is maybe all the good that comes from the entire situation.
I'm out of things to say right now.
