merf

They were going to take grandma off the ventilator today, ween her off of it, as she was improving, and because she's a smoker, the longer she stays on, the worse it actually is to ween her off of the machine.

But she had another heart attack today. And they don't know just how bad her heart is. And the doctor was optimistic before it; he's not anymore.

My poor momma.

Me and Grandma... well, you all know we do not get along very well and haven't for years. I just feel kind of numb about it. Though I'm actually much more worried/sad than I thought I would be, when it came to her possible time.

Is it wrong to be pissy that I don't know where the money for a funeral will come from? And that I don't have numbers to call of everyone. And that I'll probably have to be the fucking one to contact people, because my uncle... whatever. And mom will be too much of a wreck.

Fuck this. I hate people dying.

But hey. Maybe grandma will improve. She ain't dead yet. So eh.